Stress. Sometimes it envelops me. It wraps its terrible, sharp claws around me and seeks to destroy me. My body tightens, my head hurts, life feels impossible. It is the physical reminder that life is not perfect. I have to stop…to stop and re focus. Refocus my life on what matters most. Life is full of every day stressors…I mean face it, I could get stressed about almost anything in a given day. It is this realization that pushes me to end the cycle of stress. I want to control any and every thing in my path. It is how I seek peace. But the reality is that I cannot and will never be able to control everything or anything in my life. My life is ultimately in God’s hands. While I so desperately want everything to go my way, it is in the simple and chaotic moments that I have to stop, refocus and realize that God is bigger than me and my circumstance. Life is not perfect, in fact it is perfectly imperfect. It is messy, broken, hard, fun, and sometimes crazy. I need to stop and find joy and peace in the midst of the stressful situations and seeming chaos. Gratefulness and mindfulness truly affect the way that I process stressful situations. Right now, we are in the midst of buying our first house. It is an amazing program, but it is insanely stressful. In the grand scheme of stressors though, it is not that big of a deal. While I am over here freaking out about the whole crazy process, people are losing loved ones, people are barely surviving, people are in the midst of wars, people are truly suffering. Whether or not I end up with this house, is not that big of a deal(even though it feels all consuming). I find that I need to stop and refocus. Perhaps, it has become my idol. I have put too much stock and energy into it instead of focusing on the One that is in control. Perhaps, I need to sit and just be thankful for what I have been given. Perhaps, I need to let it go and trust more. Trust more in God. Find peace in the One that is the giver of peace. It is too easy for me to try and solve the problem instead of praying and being silent. It is something that I need to work on. I need to work on re establishing my perspective. Perspective is so important.
